We have decided to take a step back and let the plans to shift go for the time being. We know and are realistic enough to understand the need for 'something' which needs to happen to secure our future. Whether is be move, find a new form of income, or whatever- we need to 're-group' and take a step back. The past 3 years have brought many chances and challenges our way. We need some quiet time, some sober and clear headed time to get a clearer picture of ' what next Lord!"
Am I relieved? Well, it is a bit early for that. I am really pleased that my husband has finally relaxed some and that is surely worth something. Yes, there are many of life's 'issues' at hand but I will peace with those also. Space to have the opportunity to do what is appropriate and right for us.
And if you think- oh now all her ills will have disappeared too! Then think again. I still felt drained, squeamish, sore and ached all over. It will take some time to re-settle my mind as well as my body. It has been a rough ride.
A few days have since passed. My body is getting stronger and my mental state has improved no end. I did go for the medical checkup everyone advised me on- and yes, my fears were grounded. The kidneys are playing up, but now I know what the problem is I can attend to it. Due to my history my kidneys are under scrutiny- just to be safe.
Given the knowledge that I have The Book to dive into for wisdom and encouragement- and I do and did read in it plenty, I did find myself fighting a battle I wasn't 'man enough' to win- not on my own. With God at my side I was able to conquer. His presence is something I don't want to take for granted and will certainly concentrate more fully on. I know I matter.
The first morning I felt somewhat better and surfaced with intend to stay up all day- I picked up The Book and randomly opened it to find this passage:
Romans - The power of the Good News (1:6)
Greetings from Paul, a servant of Jesus the Messiah, called to be an apostle ( so am I) and set apart for God’s gospel, which he promised beforehand through his prophets in the Holy Scriptures regarding his Son. He was a descendant of David with respect to his humanity and was declared by the resurrection from the dead to be the powerful Son of God according to the spirit of holiness—Jesus the Messiah, our Lord. Through him we( I) received grace and a commission as an apostle to bring about faithful obedience among all the gentiles for the sake of his name. You ( me ), too, are among those who have been called to belong to Jesus the Messiah.
I BELONG to God and no other. Hard work awaits me to restore my relationship to Him and show that I trust in His will. His mercy will be on me- as long as I allow it to be. His light will shine on the path I am to follow.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”